Home sick.

Have you ever felt homesick for a person?

It’s an uneasy feeling at the bottom of your stomach, and no pill or home remedy can cure it. It’s a sort of loneliness that you feel even if you’re in a crowd. It’s a feeling of woe even if you’re watching the funniest show. No matter where you are and whatever happens around you, you are reminded of someone who isn’t there anymore… and it’s someone you wish you could be sharing all these moments with.

It’s not really about missing a place on a map, but longing to be in the comfort of their arms. You miss them so much that you feel an ache at the pit of your heart, where you think they’ve taken a piece of you. Or is it an emptiness because that’s where they belong?

Your heart doesn’t ache because you’re not where they are, it’s because you want to be with them.

 

You’re homesick for a person when you long for their embrace, because their arms feel like home. You yearn for the taste of their lips and the sound of their laugh. You imagine the way their nose scrunches when they’re embarrassed by something they did. It is when you want to be with them, regardless of where it may be, because time stops in the presence of their company.

You realize that home isn’t a place, but a connection. It is more than having your fingers interlaced with each other. It is more than having their arms wrapped around you when you fall asleep. It is more than feeling their their skin against yours on a cold, hazy evening.

It is in the what you see when you look in their eyes. It is in every breath between the words you mean. It is in the silence between what you thought and what you said. They understand exactly, yet they won’t force you to say it out loud until you’re ready. Or perhaps until you’re both ready.

But the thing with feeling homesick for a person is not simply longing for their company when you’re lonely. It is realizing that you have found a home in each other – in your hearts, in your souls – and the desire to erase the distance, the space, and the time that has kept you apart. You find a way to bring yourselves together. You fight through the obstacles.

Then you fall into the arms where you belong, and even for a moment, nothing else matters.

 

One thought on “Home sick.

  1. The suffering in the words are so deep and heartfelt, is there a reason why you can’t go home to this person?

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