positivity isn’t enough

It’s hard to talk to someone who’s going through cancer or grief, we get it. But for the love of all things beautiful, don’t give us advice or “inspirational quotes” when we’re not asking for it.

I am tired of the toxic positivity from people who aren’t genuine when they “check in”. Stop calling me your hero or your inspiration. My experience doesn’t need to be meaningful or inspiring for my existence to be worthy. I am just trying to continue living. There’s nothing else to it.

“God gives the hardest battles to His toughest soldiers.”

So if I was weaker, I could have continued to have a normal life? I could have had the option to have biological children? I could have lived the rest of my life not terrified of a relapse for the years that follow if I survive?

“You don’t look sick.”

I’ve lost my hair, and a bald head is probably a cancer trademark. So I do kind of look the part. But I get it, you want to say I am more responsive, I look like I got more energy, I’m smiling more, I have more of an appetite, I don’t look like I’m struggling to exist… say that. I “don’t look sick” because this is a better day than others, but I am still sick. Don’t deny it. It still exists even if you can’t see.

“At least you get time off work.”

Continue reading “positivity isn’t enough”